The Nanny Cheat $heet

You’ve already got the ins-and-outs of hiring a nanny – and maybe you already have one you adore. Then why – even when you lovelovelove her and you two talk about everything – can conversations about money feel so awkward? It’s usually because you don’t have a point of reference, says Erica Komisar, co-founder of Nannies Who Know, which trains and places nannies in New York. Her ballpark figures for hourly rates, raises and bonuses will help – and please, add your rules of thumb in the comments!

nanny_cheat_sheet_keep_in_mind

A few things to
keep in mind:

Generosity will never go unnoticed.

There are a few things that make a difference to your nanny and don’t cost you a lot:
1. If you’re in NYC and commute via subway, share a monthly unlimited MetroCard – doubles its use and costs you nothing extra since you would purchase anyway.
2. Add them to your family mobile plan.
3. Ask what they like to eat and keep it stocked at your house, so they don’t have to buy/bring lunch.

Always negotiate these things in advance. It’s good for both parties to have clear expectations and ensures a healthy relationship long-term.

nanny_cheat_sheet_going_rate

The going rate

Prices are for NY, LA and SF. In other cities, rates will be less.
Hourly: $15 – $18 starting rate for one child; $18 – $21 for two.
Overnight: $50 – $75 flat rate from kids’ bedtime to wake up.
You’re late getting home: Same hourly rate, but round up. I.e. pay a full hour even if you’re just 15 late.
Comes on vacation with you: Additional $50 – $75 per night + all meals + regular rate for any days that fall on a weekend.
Birthday: $50 – $100 or the day off
Holiday gift/bonus: Small gift + 1 – 2 weeks pay as a bonus (depending on how happy you are with them).
Typical Raise after year 1: $1/hour
Typical Raise after year 2: $1/hour
Second child: Additional $3/hour

Comments   Comments   Comments

evamurri

You may recognize her distinctive beauty from Saved!, Californication, Undateable, or Robert Mapplethorpe’s portrait of her as a child (which hangs in the permanent collection at, oh you know, The Guggenheim!), but Eva Amurri Martino is about to be your new girl crush.

The actress and daughter to none other than Susan Sarandon has a lot of mom stuff going on — and not just the run-of-the-mill sleep training and diaper changing. She just wrapped a Lifetime miniseries playing the early years-version of Marilyn Monroe’s mother (in excellent casting, her own mother plays her in later years.), and her next project, Mother’s Day, features an all-star ensemble cast, including Sharon Stone and Sarandon (again!), playing a dozen mother-daughter sets over the course of a single Mother’s Day. Oh, and she was 9 months pregnant during filming and looked ahhhmazing.

Off-screen, Eva (Italian pronunciation: “Eh-va”) has a 7-month-old daughter, Marlowe (quite possibly the cutest baby EVER), with her soccer star-turned-NBC broadcaster husband, Kyle Martino, and she’s as passionate about her stand against mom shaming (preach!) as she is about styling Marlowe’s “luxurious mullet.” (Want proof? Check out her Instagram, but be prepared to lose an hour to precious pigtails and bedhead.)

We caught up with the new mom to talk bath time (the best), sleep schedules (so rough), and getting your groove back post-baby (all about it). She’s wise, hilarious, and incredibly grounded… take it away, Eva!

Pregnancy Style

I never went mumu or loose-fitting style; I actually wore way tighter clothes than I do normally. I got wider right away, so they held it all in – form-fitting maxi dresses were my thing! I was the biggest during the summer, which was so brutal. I found loooong tanks that I loved at A Pea In The Pod and I wore them with ASOS maternity jeans and denim shorts.

More

Post Pregnancy Style

I’ve never been very practical when it comes to clothes, and I kind of got real after I had Marlowe. I went thru my wardrobe and purged, so now I only have things in my closet that I feel great in – there’s no time for the rest. When I was pregnant, I discovered Nike wedge sneakers, and I still love them: They’re so comfy and make your legs look great.

New Baby Must-Haves

For me, the must haves those first few months were Summer Infant’s SwaddleMe, Alaffia baby balm, and the BabyBjorn bouncer saved our lives – we put her in it way before you were supposed to and stuffed blankets in it. She would sit in it so happily forever.

Best Advice

I find that a lot of people have a lot of advice. You have to do what works for you, whether that’s co-sleeping or getting on a schedule, it has to work for your family. Otherwise, what’s the point?! And make sure that you check in with yourself and your partner along the way: Does whatever you’re doing feel right and is it sustainable? Our baby nurse got us on a schedule that was stressing me out, so we got rid of it!

Surprise Yourself

I am much more patient than I expected. I am good at waiting those few extra minutes to let her settle herself.

The Hardest Part

It’s so hard to find time for yourself, for your relationship, and as a family. We fell into the trap of handing off the baby, so we could each get things done, but we weren’t spending time all together. A baby is such a huge change for everyone, so acknowledge that. It’s hard and you don’t have to be great at everything right away. You know what’s not awesome – being inside all day with a baby with reflux screaming her brains out. Being real about that was so freeing. You have to get out of the house, go to the gym, and respect that you’ve been through a lot. It’s okay to have a lot of feelings that aren’t all positive.

Downtime

My husband and I love watching TV together – Veep, Game of Thrones, I’ve even gotten him into The Bachelor. If I’m feeling overwhelmed, I go get a mani and read a dumb magazine. Those things you didn’t think twice about pre-kids, I enjoy those things much more now.

Losing The Baby Weight

Honestly, it sounds so annoying, but breastfeeding helped a lot at first. I was eating really healthy because it helped produce more milk: A Korean friend’s mom made me seaweed soup that was delicious, and I ate lots of salad and fruit. At 3 months postpartum, I had 7 pounds that weren’t coming off, so I hit the gym and ran, did yoga, and pilates. Now I dress accordingly to hide the things I don’t like – it’s a lot of smoke and mirrors and certainly not what it used to be!

Relationship Saver

We have a built-in date night every Wednesday. We see a movie, try a new wine bar, go for dinner, go for a walk. Whatever it is, we get dressed up and get our groove back a little.

Why? Why? Why?

Mom shaming drives me crazy. Why does every mom need other moms to do things their way. New motherhood is such a vulnerable and powerful time, but it’s also really hard. Do not judge other moms on how they raise their children. We have so much power in numbers, and it’s just too bad so many women fall victim to this.

Secret Talent

Right now, my secret obsession is doing Marlowe’s hair. She has a really luxurious mullet, and I love to style it. I do pigtails, 3 pigtails, braids – it’s so fun! I went down a rabbit hole and have some fun hair accessories on the way from Wild Juniper, Mini Scoops, and Our Little Charmed Life

Perfect Family Moment

Marlowe loves the bath – she is so goofy and kicks and laughs. It’s such a sweet time as a family. One child is so manageable, and it’s amazing to just put our full attention on her.

Comments   Comments   Comments

Less

On Our Radar: April 23, 2014

primarybag

primarycrib

primarycarrier

primarybib

FEED + The Honest Company Collaboration
WHO: Moms in need of a diaper bag.
WHAT: Two of our favorite brands have joined forces and created an adorable diaper bag – for every bag purchased, one mother and child will receive essential micronutrients for a year.
WHEN: They’re limited-edition, so get one while you can.
WHERE: feedprojects.com and honest.com

More

Oeuf Fawn Crib & Bassinet System
WHO: Parents expecting a baby.
WHAT: A smart 3-in1 from Oeuf – starts out as a bassinet on wheels, turns into a standard crib, then turns into a toddler bed.
WHEN: Order now for mid-May delivery.
WHERE: giggle.com

Moby Aria Wrap
WHO: Parents with newborns.
WHAT: Moby’s new carrier has it all – 3 positions (front, back, hip), integrated infant insert, 3 seat positions as child grows, and 2 shoulder strap options (straight or crossed) for maximum comfort and options.
WHEN: You’re ready to stroll.
WHERE: mobywrap.com

Nanana Bibs
WHO: Parents with a penchant for beautiful French designs.
WHAT: These sweet terry bibs have chic collars that baby will surely drool and spit up on.
WHEN: Makes a great shower gift.
WHERE: perfectlysmitten.com

Comments   Comments   Comments

Less